Date YOU

Relationships I've witnessed throughout my life have often been dysfunctional and abusive. I watched family members—and eventually myself—grow to believe that our significance came from having a significant other. That belief conditioned my young mind to find comfort in, and even normalize, abuse and dysfunction. Unfortunately, that conditioning followed me into adulthood.

As a child, I didn't have many choices or the freedom to control what happened around me—or even what happened to me. But I've come to believe that no matter what we endure as children, we all have a choice as adults: we can become victorious, or we can remain victims.

Through prayer, self-reflection, intentional action, and therapy, God has slowly peeled away those layers of unhealthy conditioning, much like peeling an onion. With every layer removed, I've experienced a healthier, more balanced way of living. That transformation became even more important after becoming a mother. I refuse to pass down harmful generational mindsets and patterns. In the name of Jesus, I declare that those cycles end with me. My greatest desire is to teach my daughter what it means to be mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically healthy.

Since my divorce in 2025, I've dated and even had a few serious relationships. Each time, though, I found myself realizing that something was missing. I spent so much time searching for a man who possessed every quality I wanted in a partner, only to discover that I had been searching for something much greater than a relationship.

What if all the time I invested in searching, dating, and constantly committing to someone else had instead been invested in me?

What if I took myself on dates?

What if I bought myself flowers?

What if I intentionally created beautiful experiences for myself, without needing another person to complete them?

That doesn't mean I stop taking my little girl on dates or making memories with her. It simply means I begin intentionally building a life that also pours into me.

Having lived in a constant state of fight-or-flight since I was four years old, I can honestly say that for the past two years I've experienced a peace I never knew was possible. Today, I am in the healthiest place I've ever been mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. So why would I interrupt that peace by settling for someone God has not brought into my life?

Recently, I made a decision. I'm going to date me. This journey doesn't have to be expensive, but it absolutely has to be intentional. I'm excited to see how my soul grows through this process. I know it won't always be easy. For so long, I've been accustomed to having a plus one. But if there's one thing life has taught me, it's that growth rarely comes through what's easy. The difference now is that I'll walk through the process with peace, knowing that every step is making me into the woman God created me to be.

So, I have a challenge for every serial committer.

What if you dated yourself?

What if you spent more time getting to know the person God created you to be?

What if you poured into yourself the same energy you've spent searching for someone else?

What if all the significance you've been seeking in another person has been within you all along?

We are all deeply significant. Sometimes we simply lose sight of that because we're so busy searching for affirmation from someone else.

But what if we simply walked with Jesus... and with ourselves?

What if we discovered that we are worth investing in?

What if we finally saw ourselves the way God sees us?

What if we realized that the search is over—not because we've found another person, but because we've finally found ourselves in Christ?

Maybe, just maybe, we are worth the finding.

Date YOU.