Nothing but space and opportunity

Have you ever witnessed a fight? Or even the words and arguments just before a fight would start, where you’d see two people getting ready to go at it and one says to the other ”Come on then, we got nothing but space and opportunity!”?

Now, I may be old compared to some of my readers, but I remember those words. Followed by two or more getting into a fist fight. A lot of times, even after the fight, that same person who lost would look for the next opportunity to throw down again. They chose to look at the situation from the stand point of their willingness to fight whenever, wherever, and never back down. Even if they were afraid deep down, you’d never know because they would show up time and time again.

In the fight of your life, whatever the circumstance may be, we have the opportunity to let God in to change our mindset which will help ultimately change our view of what’s going on. Allowing us to take on a Heavenly perspective, rather then focusing on what’s happening in the natural and seeing nothing but loss. Trust me, I know having a mess of a life is NOT fun, nor is it ideal. God never promised that life wouldn’t hurt, but he does promise to walk with us every step of the way and to renew our minds if we allow Him to. Even in dearth there’s is life, even in loss their is gain. As long as we keep our eyes on Jesus, we do NOT SINK into the sea of sadness, circumstance, or pain.

On June 18th, 2020, after fighting for over a month in the hospital, my Father passed away from complications due to COVID-19. He was only 59 years old. I will never forget that day, where I was, who I was with when I received a call from my Niece telling me to get to the hospital because my Father, her Grandpa and my daughters Papa was dying. I am usually a speed racer, but nothing compares to that day. I was further away from the hospital than my family was and made it there at the same time. The hospital only allowed three people upstairs at a time, so my mother, brother and I went up first while my sister, niece and two nephews waited downstairs. We sat in a room and spoke with the doctors. As the doctors spoke I realized they were speaking in passed tense about dads fight. Then they finally told us his heart stopped and he passed. What a tough moment! It’s a level of grief I had never experienced. I have had many family members pass, but this was a tragedy. Needless to say my heart was broken. Broken for my mom, for myself and most of all for my daughter. She’s only 4, and if you could picture the perfect Papa, that was my dad. He was amazing to her! For such a tough guy, he sure melted like a marshmallow in the gaze of this little darlin. If it had not been for God, and for my daughter I don’t know that I would have cared to go on anymore. That’s just how hard that level of grief is.

I am a worshipper at heart, I love to sing and love worshipping God. I remember I was driving once, only a few weeks after dads passing and there was worship music on and I said to God, “Why should I worship you, when you took my dad.” The Lord answered, “ No sickness took him and I received him.” WOW! such a powerful word from the Lord. As much as I wished at the time I could say that my family and/or church family gathered around me and helped me through that, it’s not true. I was strong for everyone else and would wait until I was alone to completely fall apart. Grief has a funny way of revealing a lot about you to yourself. I am definitely a private griever. Now that’s not to say I did not call to speak with my amazing best friend Mary, but I still wanted to be alone most of the time. Let me tell you, GOD is really something! I had to fight for my life moment by moment and He took hold of my mind and renewed it every step of the way. Did I have bad days? Absolutely, but even in the death of my father, by allowing the Lord to take the heaviness of my burdens there was SO MUCH LIFE! So many mindsets passed on through my family for generations have been broken! All because of My great God! His word is so true and His promises are YES and AMEN, and for our lives. We are His dearly beloved children and because of Him I am alive and I have been given abundant blessings that can only be orchestrated by the Lord! Our steps are ordered, and if we keep our eyes on Jesus and show up to fight time and time again, allowing the Lord to do what we can’t, we are running a winning race!!!!

I miss my Father, some day I’m going to join him in eternity to worship and praise our Great Great Father! My prayer for you is that you too will allow God to fill the empty place of your life and/or circumstance. Surrender to God, your thoughts, plans and ways. I promise it’s the best decision you’ll ever make!

Even in loss their is gain,

even in death there is life,

all from the lamb who was slain,

before the beginning of time.

Love always,

~Jess~